Top Funny Facebook Status Updates

If you are looking for a funny facebook book update that will attract alot of likes on your facebook profile or page then we are here compiling a list of top most funny status updates which you can share with your facebook followers, Now straight to the point checkout the Funniest status updates ideas and share it.

Note: These Funny facebook status are taken from multiple sources to provide you the best out of it.

Short Funny Facebook Status:

decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
I wish I could record my dreams and watch them later…..
I saw a shampoo with the title: “Rich-looking” So I washed my purse ..
X is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed – Is only because of the shampoo
X is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while.
Smile in front of people who hate you… Ur happiness kills them
I can always pretend I’m okay, but it doesn’t mean I don’t get hurt..
sometimes, not remembering mey be the better.
X says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube.
I have a Impudent neighbor Knocking on my door at 2AM He’s lucky I was in a drum lesson ..
Yesterday I saw someone pushing a bottle of Schweppes into his ass, I said, “What are you doing ?!” He replied: “Schweppes: Drink Different..”
What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing..
slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food.
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
like buttonWhen someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it is for them?
I like to listen to sad music when I’m sad to make me double sad.
Even if you are a mass murderer, International rogue,and children Abductor,People Will Still bless you “continue to be who you are” in your birthday.
Winter as Hell – I ordered a pizza and the messenger comes with a Jet …

funny status

Long Funny Facebook Status:

No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
Its Cute When your Crush’s Crush is You.
Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed – Is only because of the shampoo
I saw a shampoo with the title: “Rich-looking” So I washed my purse ..
Dont let your ears witness what your eyes didn’t see…& don’t let your mouth speak what your heart doesn’t feel.
Better late than never, but never late is better.
You remind me of my Chinese friend…Ug Lee
Im a humble person, really. I’m actually much greater than I think I am.
I never make stupid mistakes, only very-very clever ones.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Winter as Hell – I ordered a pizza and the messenger comes with a Jet …
Yesterday I saw someone pushing a bottle of Schweppes into his ass, I said, “What are you doing ?!” He replied: “Schweppes: Drink Different..”
I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
Love doesn’t show up on an X-ray….but it’s there.
Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought.
Whatsapp: the only book teens read these days.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
In today’s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
God made coke. God made pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well…we all make mistakes.
There is nothing greater in this world than being loving parents. So take the first step today by getting married. Think different, do different!
I have a Impudent neighbor Knocking on my door at 2AM He’s lucky I was in a drum lesson ..